Lying to children: What are the potential consequences?

Should we tell our children that Santa will visit at Christmas time? Or that the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny will visit? Are there potential negative consequences for what is essentially lying to them? This article will examine these issues and it should be understood that it is written with the assumption that most would agree that lying (being deliberately untruthful) is Biblically unacceptable (Leviticus 19:11, Proverbs 14:5, Ephesians 4:25). As I write this I am also aware that many readers might think the argument being formed here is perhaps extreme. However, when we understand what the consequences can be, it is my hope that some who think this extreme, may have a change of heart. I will form my argument using both anecdotal evidence and scriptural references and then allow the reader to come to their own conclusions.

We live in an age where not everything is as pleasant as we would prefer and thus many of us who are parents try to shield our children from the worst aspects of it. Indeed, some of us not only attempt to shield them but we try to enhance their lives, to make their lives more comfortable than perhaps ours were at their age. For this reason I am sure many look for opportunities to lavish gifts upon their children, especially at Christmas and Easter time. Now as to whether believers should celebrate these holidays or not, is an issue too wide for the focus of this article so we will not be delving into that. What we will be examining is whether it is ok to lie to children about Santa and the Easter Bunny, even if it is for the reasons outlined above, and what the consequences of that might be.

Some years ago some friends of  ours shared with us that their young child was having trouble sleeping in her own room because she was frightened of the Easter Bunny. Now this couple were believers so we asked how the child had got into such a state about something as unbiblical as the Easter Bunny. I believe the child was uncomfortable with the idea that some 'creature' would sneak into her room uninvited whether she were present or not. Nevertheless, her parents proceeded to tell us that they told her (like many parents do) that the Easter Bunny would come to visit and drop off Easter eggs for her. We suggested perhaps prayer might help and telling the child the truth; ie. the Easter Bunny does not exist . Now thankfully I believe this is what happened but their attitude up to this point had been similar to that outlined in the introduction; ie. we want them to have a better life than we did as children and we do not want them to 'miss out' having a happy and fun-filled childhood, and after all, Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are just a bit of fun. Perhaps for some, but not for this frightened little girl.

It was about this time that it occurred to my wife and I that lying to children, even for 'good reasons' might not be such a good idea. The problem as we came to see it is that if we lie to our children when they are young, we take the risk that they will not believe anything we say after they realise they have been tricked. On a personal note, we never lied to our children about Santa or the Easter Bunny but we did tell them "not to spoil the fun for the other kids at school or for their friends". Perhaps this attitude is a topic for another article.

So moving on then, recently, we heard the following anecdote from a lady who is part of our local fellowship. This anecdote was the final motivation for writing this blog entry. For the purposes of this article we will call her 'Toni'. Toni told us the following about her unbelieving relative 'Marie'. Toni explained that over a period of time, whenever she mentioned the things of God to Marie (a woman of about 50 years of age), Marie would exclaim something like "Oh you don't still believe that do ya? Toni used the example of the narrative concerning Noah and the ark. Now Toni thought that the more educated Marie had become, the less she believe in God. Now this is probably an assumption many of us might make about some people we know who do not, or no longer, believe. However, only a few weeks ago did Toni realise that this was not the case with Marie. Toni explained that recently Marie had declared that as a child of about 12 she found out that Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny were not real.  This then led to her surmising that perhaps God was not real either. So Toni realised that it was not an education that kept Marie from believing in God but that she had been misled as a child and this in turn led to her unbelief.

So what is the Bible's attitude toward lying (further than the scriptures offered above). Well, according to Acts chapter 5 we see that lying can lead to physical death (Ananias & Sapphira). Now some might consider that somewhat extreme and perhaps not applicable to an argument against lying to children about fairy tales, but it does show that lying can indeed have negative consequences. Perhaps the simplest way the scriptures can put it can be found in the book of Colossians which simply states;  Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices (Colossians 3:9). So we see from this scripture a command, do not lie, and the reason? Because it is an evil pratice that we should set aside. It is so simple a child could understand it.

So with these anecdotes in mind, and with the Bible's attitude toward lying, I think we can make a strong argument against lying to children about Santa and other fairy tales, no matter how good our intentions. Scripture states that we should Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6), and I believe that when we lie to them, we do them a great dis-service, even perhaps to the point that they may never believe in God. The author of Hebrews declares "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6). So it is clear that we must believe in God if we are to please Him and have a relationship with Him. We should never do anything that might hinder our children's faith in the Creator.  It is our hope that this brief and simple article might encourage you to foster a belief in God within your children. We believe this is partially achieved by not lying to them about anything. May God bless all the parents who are prepared to tell their children the truth despite the pressures from society or anything else for that matter. Thankyou for taking the time to read this simple article.

Note: Thank you to everyone who have shared our blog with others. May God bless you.